Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
