One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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