Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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