I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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