i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
