I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
