Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize