Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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