I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
