I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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