I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
