I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
