Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
