I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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