But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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