Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
