sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
