Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
