we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
