Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
