thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
