Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
