Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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