You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
