If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
