i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
