I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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