you guys were way drunker than both of me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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