Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
