Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
