why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
