And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
operation harelip BJ is a go
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
