What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
