I'm jealous of your bromance
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i was born a porn star she said
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
