i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
