Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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