He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
