once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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