your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
