Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
