I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
