The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
