She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Text me some of your sweat
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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