it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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