my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
