dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
