Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
