lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
