Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
