Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
