I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
